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| Dizzy Dean
"A bunch of the fellows get in a barber session the other day and they start to arguefy about the best pitcher they ever see . . . I know who's the best pitcher I ever see and it's old Satchel Paige, that big lanky colored boy . . . My fastball looks like a change of pace alongside that little pistol bullet old Satchel shoots up to the plate ... Satchel Paige, with those long arms of his, is my idea of the pitcher with the greatest stuff I ever saw."Ah won 28 games in '35, and, ah couldn't believe my eyes when the Cards sent me a contract with a cut in salary ..
"Mr. Rickey said ah deserved a cut because I didn't win 30 games!""All ballplayers want to wind up their careers with the Cubs, Giants or Yankees . . . they just can't help it.""But who packs 'em into the park? Mr. Rickey? No, me and Paul.""Folks write in, and out of 150 letters maybe two will call me down.""Frankie Frisch laid down the law about us Cardinals bein' sure to be in bed by midnight during one series in New York, an' that same night I can't sleep an' I drop into a club on 52nd Street about 2 o'clock in the mornin'. . . The m.c. he introduces me, like a sap, an' when I get up to bow who do I see across the room but Frisch an' the club secretary . . . So I grabs the mike an' says, `An', folks, I wanna introduce to you another great ball player . . . and a grand guy to play for . . . Frankie Frisch!'. . . Yeah, we went home in a cab together, finally.""Good morning, president. So the old boy is prowling around himself tonight, eh? Well, sir, I'm not one to squawk. Us stars and presidents must have our fun.""He must think I went to the Massachusetts Constitution of Technology.""He once hit a ball between my laigs so hard that my center-fielder caught it on the fly backing up against the wall.""He runs too long in one place. He's gotta lot of up 'n' down, but not much forward.""Heck, if anybody told me I was settin' a record I'd of got me some more strike-outs.""I don't know of any. Nobody ain't bothered to give me any. I have to do this job my own way. I can't be hampered. Sure, sometimes I get too frank. But it ain't venomous. It's Just Dizzy Dean.""I don't recall seeing any better than myself. I told Cabby [Street] I could win him twenty or thirty games next year. And to tell the truth I don't think I will be beaten. I've got a sixteen-year-old kid brother that I'm going to take to camp next year, so I've got to kind of coach him up on a few pointers about the majors. Next to me, I think he will be the greatest pitcher in the world.""I was helpin' the writers out. Them ain't lies; them's scoops.""I'd get me a buncha bats and balls and learn them kids behind the Iron Curtain how to play baseball instead of totin' rifles and swallerin' lies. And if Joe Stallion ever learnt how much dough there was in the concessions at a ball park, he'd quit commanism and get into a honest business.""I'll tell you how it was, Mr. President. For the first 20 years of my life, I never had enough to eat-and I ain't caught up yet.""I'm through talking about things folks ain't seeing.""If I had known what Paul was gonna do, I would have pitched one, too.""If I have only a fair year, I should win 20 games, but, of course, I expect to have a good season. I am sorry you bush league sportswriters are not going to the big parade with me . . . You know Dean, always good even when I am having an off day.""If Satch and I were pitching on the same team, we'd cinch the pennant by July 4 and go fishing until World Series time.""If them guys are thinking, they're as good as licked right now.""If you had I'd have heard somethin' rattle.""It ain't bragging if you can do it.""Jeez, they're gonna give me 50,000 smackers just for living.""Joe, you just gotta get this broken glass away from here. It's cuttin' up the ball!""Let the teachers teach English, and I will teach baseball. There is a lot of people in the United States who say isn't, and they ain't eating.""Me and my father was in the first car and Paul and my uncle was supposed to be followin' real close in the second car. Well, we come to this railroad crossing and we just gets over it before this big, slow freight train comes by. There just didn't seem to be no end to it. Anyway, Paul and my uncle had to wait while the train went by and it was just about two years before they caught up with us again.""Me and Paul'll win two games apiece.""Mr. Rickey, I'll put more people in the park than anybody since Babe Ruth!""My arm is made of rubber, I'll be ready in two days.""Old Diz knows the King's English. And not only that. I also know the Queen is English.""Right away, sir. You are number two on my manure list.""Say, this is Dizzy Dean. Yep, back in town and I can hear you gnashing your teeth, brother. Just thought I would call and tell you that I am gonna pitch against your ball club this afternoon and hold them to two or three hits.""Sin tax? What will those fellers in Washington think of next?""Son, what kind of a pitch would you like to miss?""Spart is pretty much the same as fight or pep or gumption. Like the Spart of St. Louis, that plane Lindbergh flowed to Europe in.""That was because they seen me killing squirrels with stones th'owing left-handed. If I'd of th'owed right-handed I would have squashed them.""The Cards had one pitcher who won fourteen straight games in a period of twenty-four days. Then when he lost his fifteenth game, 1-0, his manager fined him fifty bucks!""The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.""The dumber a pitcher is, the better. When he gets smart and begins to experiment with a lot of different pitches, he's in trouble. All I ever had was a fast ball, a curve and a changeup. And I did pretty good.""The game was closer than the score indicated.""The good Lord was good to me. He gave me a strong body, a good right arm, and a weak mind.""The only thing I got right was a kickoff.""The players returned to their respectable bases.""The tying and winning runts are on second and third.""There'll never be another like me."Well now, a fiddle hitcher is usually a pitcher who's been up there [in the major leagues] a long time and lost his stuff so he takes to fiddle hitchin' to get them batters out. He's a guy what fiddles around-hitchin' his trousers, fixin' his cap, kickin' around the dirt so's the opposing batter will get riled and blown up.""Well, Pee Wee, I've been watching him for four innings and I believe that's a baseball he's throwin'.""Why, they shot the wrong McKinley.""You know how I say, 'Rizzuto slid into second.' I keep saying ain't.
"Well, what's wrong with ain't? And as for saying 'Rizzuto slid into second,' it just ain't natural. Sounds silly to me. Slud is something more than slid. It means sliding with great effort.""`I always just went out there and struck out all the fellas I could,' he remembered. `I didn't worry about winnin' this number of games or that number-and I ain't a-woofin' when I say that, either.' "'What baseball needs,' Diz told reporter John Lardner, `is wild men like we used to have on the old St. Louis Cards-the gashouse gang-such as me, Rip Collins, Pepper Martin, Frank Frisch, and them.'
"`What was the salary scale in those days?' asked Lardner. `That,' explained Dizzy Dean, `is what drove us wild.' "... stick your head out of the window and find out why the game was halted."A good bowl of Wheaties with Bourbon can't be beat.I won twenty-eight games in thirty-five and I couldn't believe my eyes when the Cards sent me a contract with a cut in salary. Mr Rickey said I deserved a cut because I didn't win thirty games. It ain't bragging if you can do it.The doctors X-rayed my head and found nothing.
The dumber a pitcher is, the better. When he gets smart and begins to experiment with a lot of different pitches, he's in trouble. All I ever had was a fastball, a curve and a changeup and I did pretty good. |
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